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My World And Welcome To It

by Caesar

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1.
Ruiner 03:10
I’ve laid it down on the line, you’ll pay the price for your crime. I hope for your sake, you stay here, face to face. Lifeless, you ruiner, coward. Your end will receive you now. I saw a glimpse of hope in the eyes you despised, blinded by hatred, and filled with jealousy. Cut the ties, you’re made of lies. You can’t feel, anything. Your words are worthless to me, you’ll find yourself in a den of lions. I’m not sorry for a word I said, I’m not sorry and you’re better off dead. I’m not sorry. Your false claims and vile motives, they show your true intentions, you are not what you claim to be. You’re a snake, a wicked man. Your stench repulsive. Your corrupt, depraved, foul actions, you’re the devil’s reflection. Seeking hate in the wrong place. Your sinister deception. I’ll hunt you down, and show you for a fake. I will not, stand and watch, as you destroy everything, everything I care most about in this life. You are not welcome here.
2.
Menace 03:12
Do you remember, the words you spoke, the promises you made? Was it all a joke? Just a meaningless charade. No, things are different this time around, I’m just starting to change. I’m moving on with my life, and you should do the same. I am moving on, I’m moving on with my life. Back and forth, again and again, the same results, with nothing to show in the end. Back and forth, again and again, the same results, with nothing to show in the end. We’ve got nothing now, we’ll have nothing then, we’ve got nothing to show in the end. Nothing to show in the end. Live your life, instead of wasting mine. I never said I didn’t love you. You always said this couldn’t be true, I’m sorry but I will never miss you. You say you’re sorry, but how can I trust you? How can I trust you? Whoa! I’m suffering from your lack of interest. I’m drowning in your selfishness. Believe me; I will never feel the same again. I will never feel the same. I will never feel the same again.
3.
Wander 04:44
These restless days, and these sleepless nights, they’ve got me calling out for you. And all I have left are these memories, and these memories, they bring me back to you. It’s taking all I have, it’s taking all I have, praying for just one peaceful night. Just one peaceful night. And I’m crawling on my feet, crawling on my feet trying to get back to you. My misery takes its hold on me, this world is crushing me. I’ve tried to run faster than my heart beats and I’ve kept my faith, but I’m not sure how I’ve gotten here. How have I gotten here? How have I gotten here? I’ve given, all I have, to make this life worth living. It’s taken all I have, to keep from falling down. I will never fall down. I will never fall down. I’ve spent these past two years, searching for something more, and all I’ve ever found, are my own footprints. Some twenty odd years and I’m still stuck here, burning for something more. Dying to pour my heart into something worth living for. One hundred thousand regrets, swear to God I will never, ever look back. I’m looking forward these days. Looking for an answer, that will ignite this heart. Ignite this heart, oh god. Ignite my heart. Prone to wander lord I pray, that I will live to see another day. I’m coming home. I’m coming home. I’m coming home. And I Swear to God, I will never look back. One hundred, one hundred, one hundred thousand regrets, and I swear to god I am never looking back.
4.
Rebirth 03:45
I’m feeling colder again, I’m losing feeling within. My eyesight’s blurry, I’ve lost all control. I’m angry, pissed off and cold. And I know, it’s all part of growing old. Every day, living life, I wasn’t made for this. Losing faith, losing hope, they always do what their told. But for me, life is so much more than gold. Like their gravestones, etch in the names john doe, but they will never know, but they will never know. I’ve tried and failed to succeed, but at least I’ve tried. And when my reflection gets the best of me, I cry out. Don’t fail me, don’t fail yourself. But I fail me, I fail myself. Shattered glass, and broken knuckles, the smell of blood and defeat. Standing there, broken and weak, my cracked face screams back at me. And so I push with nothing but these words before me, these words before me. “This is more than life and death. This is your chance to be free.” Free from apathy, free from animosity, free from society, your inner monstrosity. And this hole, in my chest, once opened, now fully closed. I am whole once again. I can breathe once again. I am whole, once again. I can breathe, once again. I can breathe again. I can breathe again.
5.
Let this be my last regret, can you feel my anguish? This will be my last regret, I am filled by bitterness. I am not perfect, I will never be perfect. I am not perfect, and I will never be, perfect. Always negative, angry and crying out. Always jaded, this world is bringing me down. I will live my life, for what I love. I will scream my heart out, until the skies fall from about. I can’t make you understand. This is where I’m meant to be. I can’t promise you will understand, but I can show you how my heart beats. My heart beats for this, my heart beats for this moment. My heart beats for this, my heart, beats for this moment. Every single moment, every single day, I want to breathe life into the broke and weak, broke and weak. I will not live my life, just like everybody else. I will not live my life, as a slave to society. This world has washed away, all that makes us who we are, and who we are is how we live today. I cannot shake this misanthropy, I will humble myself, as I watch this world bleed. I cannot shake this misanthropy, I will humble myself, as I fall to my knees.
6.
Venom 03:58
This place is not your home. I swear you will always be alone. Going back on your empty words, faithless and blind, your words are venom. I thought this was your everything, but it means nothing anymore. You waste your life away, day to day, You drown in the bottle and lay like a whore. This is not your true home. This is not your true home. You’re left abandoned, cold and all alone. Stop hoping, start knowing. As the days betray you, I hope you know what you are living for. What are you living for? There's a much greater purpose than this. Are you not content with your life? How do you plan to fill that hole in your heart? Human kind will fall in on itself, not even memories will remain, will remain. Kingdoms will fall and turn into dust. Prideful men will reign. Given one more chance, would you do it again? Given one more chance, would you instead make amends? Fear is the mindkiller. Regret is the, the soul destroyer. I will face my fear, permit it to pass over me, and when it’s gone, there will be nothing, nothing. There will be nothing more, nothing more. Only I will remain. Only I will remain. Only I will remain. My heart and I will remain.
7.
The Vow 03:22
In and out of my life, like a passing trend, like ink from a pen, like the ghost that you, like the ghost that you, like the ghost that you, slept with that night. I cannot see past this wall in my head, an emotional barrier, how could I fuck up so hard? I can now see that you thought everything was okay, and yet you still so blindly say, “It’s not meant to be”. A long lost act of chivalry, the spark I wanted to be, cannot ignite your mediocrity. A long lost act of chivalry, the spark I wanted to be, cannot ignite your mediocrity. Holding onto hope, no ambition, I have forgotten my mission. Holding onto hope. This bastard’s knife, at my throat. The wisdom’s sting, after every single word that you wrote. But this knowledge, this knowledge hurts far too much. You think I’m wrong but I know that I am right. I’ve seen this once before, you will not last one more night. Your mother is crying, your father is dying. I can see the pain, in their eyes. And yet you blindly say, “Everybody, everybody hates me”. I’ve got to find some solidarity, If you only you could see, the skies mourn your disparity, your depravity, if only you could see. Mark this down as the day that you cross paths with the fire, the fire that burns in my heart, the fire that burns in me.
8.
Human Form 03:15
These walls are closing in, my chest is caving in. I’ve watched my brothers fall. My idols fade away. I’m devoid of all purpose and I cannot live with that. Struggling to find my way, dreary eyed and discontent. Struggling to find my pride, with no sense of self importance. The sting of arrogance, allied with pretentiousness. Understanding consequence, I will not stand for this. I will not stand for this. My heroes have failed me. My heroes have failed me. The one’s we once looked up to, now fighting for, what they fought against. As a child I lived and breathed in their footsteps, now torn between madness and intolerance. As a child I lived and breathed in their footsteps, now torn between madness and intolerance. Give me a reason, to carry on. Give me a reason to defy what is wrong. My brother, my brother, I want to walk the path of the straight and narrow; I want to follow my heart and push on through. Understand, understand, this is not what was meant for me and you, for me and you. Understand, understand, I’m giving this all I can. I want to be a better man.
9.
Lost Souls 03:26
I’m coming undone; I’m ripping straight from the seam. My head is throbbing and I don’t think I can run from this dream. I can’t escape this terror, I’m living a nightmare, my sail is ripped and I’m headed downstream. I’m failing to find the beauty in this decrepit land of hate. I’m failing to find the freedom in this land of take, take, take. I’ve fought my way out of pain, and misery, I’ve lived with loneliness. I’ve had my head between my feet. Staying positive is so hard, when your heart, is filled with hate. You disown what you create. When your heart is filled with hate, you disown what you create. I saw a world a world I never thought I’d see, I am the hate I never thought I’d be. I despise everything you created. Two roads diverge, in this world. One polluted, but paved with gold. Two roads diverge, in this world. And I, I took the one less traveled on. Two roads diverge. you took the one made with gold. Two roads diverge. I hope you know that you’ve lost your soul. The golden road, the golden road, your rotting corpse and your soul disowned. I hope you know. I hope you know. I hope you know that you’ve lost your soul. Your life is meaningless, scattered bones in a world I won’t call home. Your life is meaningless, lost souls, no purpose.
10.
Epilogue 03:19
I’m giving up, giving in. Tie this noose, watch me drop. I’ll never win, like this cage we live in, I’m trapped. Please let me out. I’ll never see the good in the dark. Hate after hate, they kill for sport. These selfish demons deny what they’re taught. They live in blood and breed putrid thought. I’m running in, running out. Take this knife, hear me shout. We live in sin, take the venom in, no one hears, as we cry out. I’m falling down, crawling around. This is knife is sharp, this rope is taut. And my love of life has grown into hate for mankind. So watch me die. The demons reach for their loved ones, they reach for their loved ones, grab ahold, and choke the life out. They’re rotting out, selfishly. Thoughtless life, meaningful death, unaware of self, free the mind, release me from hell. My chest aches, catastrophic distraught, we are all doomed, so why the fuck not? Take this rope, make it taut, tie this noose, watch me drop. Take this rope, make it taut, tie this noose, watch me drop. We’re giving up, giving in. Greed, lust, and evil men. We let the demon’s win. We let the demon’s win. Their taking control. I’m tired of giving everything I’ve got.. I’m tired of showing love in a hate filled world, and I’m tired of these selfish fucking people in this selfish fucking world.

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released November 19, 2012

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Caesar Jackson, Michigan

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